Uta no☆Prince-sama♪ Maji Love 1000% 1: ARE YOU BASTARDS READY!?
YOU WANT A SHOW SO MANLY THAT YOU EXCRETE BEER!? SO MANLY THAT YOU CAN BENCH-PRESS A TANK JUST BY WATCHING IT!? SO MANLY THAT JUST BY SIMPLY GAZING AT A SCREENCAP OF IT OFF OF NICONICO YOU SUDDENLY START TO BECOME GAR, GAIN A THIRD TESTICLE, AND START GROWING MUSCLES ON YOUR FUCKING DICK!? THEN PUT DOWN THAT CUTESY MOE HORSESHIT AND GET YOUR ASS TO WATCHING SOME “UTA NO☆PRINCE-SAMA ♪MAJI LOVE 1000%”!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111111111111111111111111111111111111
We begin this buffet of manliness with a synchronized dance routine as our OP….Are you ready?
Soon after, we meet our protagonist Haruka whose eyes may steal your soul if you gaze at them sharply. Anyway, she is seen as a beggar who displeases the bland guards who want her to GTFO. However, Otoya shows up to woo everyone present with his orgazmic “uke voice” in an attempt to sway the guards to let her in.
However, a long haired Square Enix character named Ren popped up to tell the guards to let her go to school because he stalks her and that’s cool.
The guards then pop up with Deus Ex Bullshitina as they make an exception by letting her take the exam to enter the school for idols.
Haruka decides that test time is the best time to have a monologue towards her grandma.
During her school’s 1st assembly, she meets a really hot redhead girl named Tomo, but I’m not posting that screencap just yet because I wanted to put more emphasis on how Haruka’s eyes look like the water in a public restroom toilet
It’s here where the school’s principal named Shining pops up in a spectacularly fabulous wire-fighting dance routine, where it is revealed that he is actually a legendary voice actor whom you all might know.
After Shining Wakamoto exists, they get to the classroom where Haruka is almost glomped by a flying bespectacled boy named Natsuki, only to be pushed away by the uber emo guy with a stupid blue haircut named Masato where Natsuki ends up glomping Otoya instead (I had MAL onhand just to point out all these guy’s names, dammit)
All the craaaaaaaaaaaaaaazy hijinks is interrupted by their trap teacher who resembles Kuranosuke from Kuragehime that goes by the name Ringo. The most shocking thing though is that he’s voiced by the gruff Yuiichi Nakamura, yet as Ringo has a soft voice akin to Jun Fukuyama.
It’s lunchtime as Haruka compares it with the Titanic (too soon). However, when she drops her wallet, the show’s idea of shota named Shou pops up. He is, however, taunted as “Munchkin” which really pisses him off.
However, first Ren and Masato must out-pretty each other as they are both sons of businessmen and as such are bitter enemies who must resort to staring at each other longingly as their method of psychological warfare. I’m serious, this is some deep shit!
Meanwhile Haruka & Tomo observe as Tomo muses on how much of a total sausagefest the school is and name drops the series.
In the dorm room the two share, Haruka muses on her love for Hayato, a now-goofy idol who inspired her when she was a little girl living with her grandma.
Apparently, she was having a Stein;Gate-like panic attack in the middle of the city when hearing Hayato lipsynch one of his hit songs on a giant TV caused her to not only feel better but be teleported into a celestial world where Hayato is serenading her and is inches away from making out with her.
A cat then randomly steals Haruka’s hanky to start a Benny Hill chase as Sparkling observes from the window, sinisterly.
The cat leads Haruka miraculously to Hayato whom just coincidentally happened to be there despite being too old at this age to be hanging around a school without looking like a total lolicon. Haruka goes on to tell him of her appreciation, but the episode ends as he declares his name is Tokiya and that he hates Hayato with the heat of a thousand suns.
In the realm of entertainment, there are two types of bad: the bad that is just painfully irritating to watch and is so miserably infuriating that you want to punch the screen in anger, and the bad that is hilarious based on the sheer badness of it and has a charm that classics like The Room and Ben & Arthur share. This anime falls near the latter of the scale. It’s possibly one of the silliest reverse harem shows ever made with it’s goofy characters, obsession with cliches of the genre, and the laughably silly plot. Nonetheless, I had a hell of alot of fun watching the show, laughing so much my face started to hurt, and that was on my 1st viewing of the show without the Niconico user comments. On the offchance that IdolM@ster is a giant pile of shit, at least Uta no☆Prince-sama♪ Maji Love 1000% will exist to add to the beautiful mess so that Prince-sama’s penis & Idolm@ster’s vagina can combine and make a beautiful turd baby as well as pave the way to make the Summer season the best season ever. Looking forward to the next one surprisingly.