SPIRAL no Iru Machi Chpt. 1
For those of you wondering where the hell my Kore wa Zo… what the hell am I saying, the show’s too good at this point to even blog about frequently and it’s not like that post I proudly worked on last time for three hours still has no comments (Q_Q). I am in Korea. Obviously the southern one. And I’m in a small town just like the one in Kimi no Iru Machi so I thought “Why the hell not make a post of the various things I do to girls?”. Kouji Seo clearly has a lot of girlfriend issues and every two-three chapters, another girl comes out that seems to love toying with Haruto’s heart. I’m here to show you how a real person handles real girls in a real setting.
Kouji Seo has nothing on me.
First thing’s first – I am home alone for a good two weeks in my aunt’s home since she’s on vacation with her family and my family just wanted to send me early. That being said, that basically means anything goes. No, that doesn’t mean you can watch anime with the HDTV in the living with a full-stereo system (I tried that and I’ve never seen a more epic Medaka Box episode – but the episode was already epic enough).
I went out every single night just to try and fulfill my mission to be the better Haruto. The first night, I was invited to this dinner where everyone (every party) brought a food item and we should share it etc etc. Myself, being awesome, took the time to make roasted duck slices braised with terriyaki sauce. A lot of people liked it and LESSON ONE by showing you can do what girls are stereotypically supposed to do, you already scored massive points with the females. I was hanging with the college kids in my group (I mean, they have to be attending locally somewhere. I never figured it out – I probably asked at one point but I’m too damn lazy to remember) and I got to know this girl named Girl A. Actually, for Kouji Seo’s sake, let’s call her…. Eba. So I met a girl named Eba and the two of us really hit it on. I brought 5 people (2 guys, 3 girls excl. me) to my house and just served alcohol.
Yes, I resorted to alcohol. So while four of the people left after several hours, Eba decides to crash my house. Being the gentlemen, I gave her a towel and my loose fitting clothes (I’m still not sure whether girls where bigger sizes if they have boobs) and just watched TV for a bit while she showered. LESSON TWO despite what all anime shows depict, we do not take baths in other people’s houses. And we NEVER EVER “accidentally” fall into a situation where we are peeking at the person. It’s called having tact. To make a short story short and also because I really can’t write erotic scenes, we’ll just say Eba thought I was a “really” nice guy and that she didn’t really believe in commitments – just the fun of the moment. The next morning, I made eggs and some stupid rice cakes that turned out all wrong, and Eba ate it and left. I would hang out with her often but she assured me that “that” wouldn’t happen again and it probably only happened because of the alcohol. You think, Sherlock?
Second night, I played some Heroes of Newerth on 200 ping on US West servers and decided to go out around 9. After hanging around a bit, I thought nothing was going on so I went to the convenient store to buy some junk food and ice cream. I ran into some other girls that I think I saw at the dinner the other night and they said “Hi” to me. Them being in high school, I slowly punched my inner devil and went to play HoN again at my house. Crisis adverted. LESSON THREE sometimes, it’s not worth it.
Third day, this girl asked if I was busy or not. Thinking she wanted to hang out, I said no and that I was just staying and my house. She leaves her dog at my place and tells me to feed him/her/it/fucking same thing. I just decide to work on the otome game script while this small dog is constantly parking and chewing on my shirt. Needless to say when that girl picked up her dog, I thought she was going to give me her cat (if you know what I mean). Instead, she gives me 20,000 won (roughly $20). I don’t need money.
Third night, I went out pissed off at the world and desperately needed more girls to show up to prove how Kouji Seo fails compared to me. Needless to say, I run into one of Eba’s friends… let’s call her… uh, shit there are so many girls I don’t even remember the names. Let’s call her Asuka – so Asuka and I are just hanging outside the convenient store when suddenly, we get on this troll sex related topic. She basically said she was down to explore different things and I said “Let go then to my place.” But then, she comes up with the fucking stupidest idea. You see, our town is surrounded by a crap ton of mountain that have a tomb at the top of most of the peaks. She said for every peak I took a photograph of, it would count as “one sessions” (don’t ask me anymore please). I left at midnight and no joke, I went on a 20 hour mountain climbing/hiking expedition. I fucking went on every mountain top and there were no fucking tombs at all on any of them. It was only at hour 12 I came across one. Thinking of how I was going to plow Asuka for trolling me like that (apparently, only two of them had tombs), I set down the mountain. It basically took me 18 hours (two less than anticipated) and I just came back. I’m too tired to do anything let alone plow a field of…. hay, so now I’m going to sleep after eating some strawberries and cherries. If you’re a medical expert, you’ll know why.
I am going to plow that girl tomorrow so fucking hard.