Dat midriff

I gotta come clean with something; I thought I could abandon MGX easily by working with Tsuritama and Jormungand because to me it seemed that the show peaked too early and declined ever since. However, there are numerous different factors nagging on the inside of my head that brought me back here: I am literally craving Ayako Yoshitani’s voice like Tsubaki craves saliva and this is my only fix during the Yoshitani drought this summer, I want to move on from all the sausagefests I’ve been doing this Spring and get back into some beautiful breastes that I learned were a part of MGX’s final episodes, Spoonygate made me look at myself and think that I shouldn’t feel pissy about Episode 8′s date rape implications when I’ve made fun of rapey situations, the only side of the haters dislike this show because of the spit and I want to represent a fairer side that doesn’t piss on something for it’s subject matter but rather how it converts that subject matter into a story, and overall, quitting on a show is something I don’t like making a habit of.

That being said, I felt that I should be more upfront about the show and because 5 episodes is alot to cover, this will be more or less my opinions about the episodes rather than a massive wall of screencaps. It’s a different format of blogging so tell me if you like how it’s formed.

Starting with Episode 9, we see blasphemy as Oka thinks it’ll be a cool idea to get Urabe to cut her hair. Ever since my breakdown, I’ve realized that Oka is the source of a lot of the show’s problems with most of her advice either fucking with Urabe’s head or causing Tsubaki to react to it in an uncontrollable manner. Of course, I too wasn’t happy with Urabe not having her trademark bangs (cause bangs are cute, dammit) but it seems like they only brought it out to add fuel to this claim.

T_T

Not only that but it also fuels Tsubaki’s possessive behavior that could all be solved if he just said “Urabe is my girlfriend”. This point has become one of the main reasons why I hate Tsubaki a lot. He pretty much treats Urabe like an accessory that only he is allowed to have. I normally wouldn’t blame him since I’d be pissed too if people drooled all over my girlfriend, but he dug his own grave by acting like his relationship with Urabe is some shameful secret that no one else can know about.

THEN FUCKING TELL THEM!

The 2nd reason why I hate Tsubaki is because he is as dumb as shit and likes to ogle other women. In Ep.9′s case, it’s Momoka, an idol that he faps all over because she looks like Urabe. He spends the other half of the episode pretty much treating his special link with Urabe like shit by casting her away in favor of drooling all over Momoka’s magazine.

You poor, poor, semen-encrusted magazine

They try to make Urabe stronger by having her tear up this magazine and solidify her possessiveness of Tsubaki as only she can have him and not Momoka, but this one sentence really spells out one giant message. These two are both horrible people. They both have a stranglehold on each other’s lives and treat each other like possessions to the point where it feels like Tsubaki and Urabe are only boyfriend and girlfriend in name. Urabe treats her relationship like a business transaction where Tsubaki is only allowed to drink her spit and shut the fuck up, and Tsubaki feels that he is entitled to Urabe’s body and whenever she isn’t “putting out”, he has the right to look for outside sources, which is what Episode 10 highlights starting with Tsubaki adding more Momoka magazines to his collection.

Didn’t you learn anything from the last episode!?

If you think Tsubaki can’t sink any lower, here comes Hayakawa who comes along to talk with Tsubaki. One would think that Hayakawa is going to be a “homewrecking slut that wants to jump Tsubaki’s bones and ruin everything”, but that one would be an idiot because all of the problems that are going to happen from Episode 10-11 can be summed up by this one sentence:

Welp, I guess Urabe wasn’t his girlfriend this whole time. He justifies this by saying that he was “in the moment”, but we all know he is weak-willed and would let Hayakawa hop on his dick if she proposed it and he was feeling a tad lonely that day. This is made even worse when Hayakawa makes up a story about getting punched by her ex-boyfriend and needing Tsubaki to pose as her boyfriend for the day.

Tsubaki can’t be this stupid-

Well fuck a duck!

Episode 11 pretty much plays out with Tsubaki going to the festival with Hayakawa, and low and behold, she comes dressed as the middle school version of her Tsubaki fawned over and wants him to embrace her. He suddenly gets a feeling in the pit of his stomach that he shouldn’t be cheating on Urabe, but that doesn’t stop Hayakawa from wanting him. Oka spies on the both of them throughout their exploits but it’s not until Urabe pops in wearing Danbo from Yotsuba&! that the heat is on.

“Get away from her, you bitch!”

Urabe isn’t steaming from this though. Instead, she offers up a competition where Tsubaki does a blindfold taste test of their spit. Urabe’s is a surefire hit as she reveals that he had such a strong reaction because she stripped naked. As such, Hayakawa strips naked to make her spit more effective.

This’ll be the most you’ll see, because aside from some good ass shots, their entire bodies are shaded black during this segment and you’ll need Blu-Ray to soak in the fruits of Hoods’ labor.

However, when Hayakawa tries to feed Tsubaki her spit, she starts crying because her body is telling her that spit is Urabe & Tsubaki’s bond. This results in a moment that hit close to home for me where Hayakawa breaks down about her failed love life where all of her love is unrequited.

You and me both…

But let’s forget about that cause, Episode 12, fuck yeah! This is the episode which is entirely pointless because it’s about Tsubaki reflecting on how much he wants to see Urabe naked. This episode was pretty much made because Hoods Entertainment was starting to get nervous and if their staff weren’t allowed to draw any more bare breasts for the remainder of the series, they would go out and rape real women.

Please, fund more Hoods Entertainment anime so that their staff doesn’t do this to real-life women on trains

I digress, this subplot does vanish within the 1st ten minutes of the show as it instead focuses on Tsubaki once again fucking up and trying to hug Urabe (he’s still doing that shit?), but when she does her scissor shred technique, she ends up knicking a part of Tsubaki’s forehead, prompting her to take him back to her place to treat the wound.

And then he croaks from blood loss. I always like a happy ending

His wound gets treated, but thinking about her boobies keeps making him want to hug her. He tries to prevent this from happening by pushing her on the bed forcefully, yet as he runs away, he trips over a medkit and is about to fall on Urabe. Fearing the death that could result from this, he instead aims for landing on the bedpost, effectively snapping his neck.

Urabe’s standards are literally killing Tsubaki

Luckily enough, the show doesn’t aim to make me rage all the time, as the last moments of the episode have Urabe finally getting over her stigma on hugging and lets Tsubaki hug her. It’s almost magical in a sense that a simple hug between the two didn’t destroy the world.

They still have the nerve to use the sun glare to cover up the hug, as if it’s the Japanese equivalent of screwing in public

The last episode fares much better in my eyes because it is an original and an original made by the Space Bros. director is a lot better than the shitty shit that Hoods normally craps out. Then again, I’m going to be much more forgiving because now I know this script was written by Deko Akao, the writer of  Arakawa Under the Bridge, Natsu no Arashi, & Lottes Toy

Not to mention that I fell in love with her just by looking at her cuteness

This episode does share some common features with those shows now that I think of it as this episode focuses on Tsubaki’s older sister  Youko, who we get some much needed spotlights on as she invites Urabe to have a cup of coffee with her. She reminisces of the times when she was an alum at the school & wore the same outfits that Urabe is wearing now.

“Not that I actually invest time into inviting high school students to have coffee with me, cause that would be weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeird”

Through this reminiscing, she also tells Urabe that Tsubaki made a comment about her drool and asked if she had a boyfriend. Youko thought it was weird because that night, she dreamed about her old squeeze in highschool who also partook in spit tasting rituals.

Spit-swapping has been passed down the Tsubaki family line for generations!

In modern times, Tsubaki gets to go with Youko and his grandpa to visit the grave of his mom where they offer her headstone sakura-mochi. However, not before long, the spirit of Tsubaki’s mom tells them all something from within their hearts, one of which being a nugget of wisdom about Youko having to take care of Tsubaki even if he becomes a total NEET. The whole scene such a different change of pace that it makes me drop my guard a bit for some pleasant backstory on the Tsubaki household rather than teenagers and their dagnab hormones.

Oddly specific for someone whose been dead for over a decade

Urabe tells Tsubaki all about visiting Youko at the cafe and asks if he likes sakura-mochi. Tsubaki says he doesn’t cause it makes him want to bone Vegeta, but instead he tells Urabe that it’s his mother’s favorite food and that they visited her grave. In turn however, now Urabe wants to go visit Tsubaki’s mom’s grave because that won’t be crossing any lines or anything.

“I hear banging in cemeteries is the new ‘thing’ that everyone’s doing”

Urabe brings flowers, food, and her best cute elderly lady attire to go visit Tsubaki’s dead mom. After giving her the offering of flowers and food, Urabe decides this would be the best time to get hot and heavy as her and Tsubaki find a way to have two spits at the same time. The series ends as Tsubaki reflects on his Mysterious Girlfriend, Mikoto Urabe.

Tsubaki’s line is even funnier if you know that the Japanese word for “mouth” is “kuchi” which sounds like “coochie”

As much as I think that they wasted the potential the series had by having the middle of the series try to squeeze in fanservice and have the characters make questionable decisions (Tsubaki’s cheating attempt and molestation attempt & Urabe’s disregard for letting Tsubaki hug, kiss, or even take pictures of her), I didn’t dislike it. I think that the first few episodes and the last episode were very decent when it came to storytelling, the artstyle has a 90′s-ish feel to it that keeps me interested, I’m compelled by the idea of Urabe with a non-conventional romance bonded with the power of saliva, and I love her voice actress’ deep yet cute voice.

I guess my faults lie with the mangaka whose attempt at a cutesy romance backfired several times throughout the story with Urabe being the anti-romance and Tsubaki treating Urabe like a prized possession, and maybe if someone else wrote the story itself, it would’ve ended up much better, but the source material is by-far the best thing that Hoods has ever touched. It’s not saying much, but it’s still saying something, and I have high hopes that everyone involved goes on to do great things in the near future.

On another note, did you guys like this method of blogging? Because I’m thinking  of marathoning Mouretsu Pirates and this quick-blogging with less screencaps/summary and more opinion might be better suited for future marathon posts.